10 Ways to Be More Social, Even if You're an Introvert (2023)

10 Ways to Be More Social, Even if You're an Introvert (1)Share on Pinterest

Being more social isn’t about pleasing everyone around you. Seriously. There’s nothing wrong with chilling at home and binge-watching your favorite show after a long week.

Putting yourself out there can look different for everyone. Maybe for you, it’s about hanging with some of your closest pals or chatting it up with the pizza delivery guy.

Here’s a look at 10 tips to help you better connect with others. If some of these tips aren’t the right fit, feel free to ditch them altogether and try something else. What’s important is that you find the joy in connecting.

First thing’s first, there’s no right way to put yourself out there. It’s OK if you’re not into hitting the club every other night or accepting all those Facebook event invites.

More than anything, you’re under no obligation to fulfill other people’s expectations, and this includes how you spend your time.

Drown out the other voices

If you’re unsure of how to make the distinction between what you want versus what others are telling you to want, try asking yourself the following questions:

  • Am I looking forward to spending time with this person or going to this event?
  • Do I feel guilty about letting people down or being judged as antisocial?
  • Will meeting up bring me joy?

Pay attention to your gut reaction here. While feeling close to others has it benefits, it’s important to go about it on our own terms and in a way that feels psychologically nurturing to you.

2. Start up a conversation

(Video) The 4 Types of Introvert - Which one are you?

So, you’re ready to embark on opening yourself up a little more and making new friends. Maybe you’d like to learn the magical art of “small talk” or how to strike up a conversation at the next wedding you’re invited to.

But how the heck do people do it?

First, know that the person next to you probably feels the same way you do. According to professor Bernardo Carducci, who ran the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, around 40 percent of adults and teens identify as being shy.

Having a few ice breakers on hand can be a great way to boost your confidence when approaching others. Luckily, most people love to talk about themselves, so this is a pretty foolproof starting point.

ice breakers to try
  • “What are some great shows you’ve recently binge-watched?”
  • “I’m watching this great cooking show on Netflix. What are your top favorite restaurants you would recommend?
  • “Where’s the last place you traveled? What did you like about it?”

Remember to share something similar about yourself, too, such as “I’m from Florida, I just moved for the warmer weather, and am loving the beach so far.”

We all like to feel seen and heard. One of the best and undervalued ways of connecting with others is by thoughtfully listening to what they have to say.

You can practice active listening by being curious and seeking to understand where the other person is coming from.

Avoid interrupting them mid-story or talking over them when they answer a question. Instead, offer your undivided attention and genuine interest.

Try to ask follow-up questions where they feel natural to show that you’re listening carefully to what they’re saying.

When listening, keep these questions in mind:

  • What’s important to this person?
  • What are they excited to share?
  • What do they value?

When in doubt, say something kind. The right words at the right time can make someone’s day significantly better and also open the door to a conversation. Studies show that by doing so, we also increase our own life satisfaction.

Telling a co-worker you enjoyed their presentation or letting someone know how much you like their shirt is a great way to connect. But make sure you’re being sincere to avoid appearing disingenuous.

Here are a few steps for paying someone a compliment:

  1. Pay attention to what you genuinely like about a person so that you’ll really mean what you say.
  2. Don’t be obvious. Notice the small things that make someone unique so that your words stand out.
  3. Avoid platitudes or clichés. Don’t say the same thing to everyone or compliment their physical appearance. Instead, focus on personality qualities or quirks.
(Video) 8 Proven Ways to Stop Being Shy And Quiet

If you’re ready to take a bigger step toward putting yourself out there, consider finding a hobby that is social, such as volunteering at a nonprofit. This is also a great way of giving back and being of service.

Participating in activities you enjoy can help alleviate feelings of inadequacy when meeting new people, especially if you’ve just moved to a new community.

Plus, you already know of at least one thing you’ll have in common with others there, whether that be a love of gardening, a soft spot for animals, or a passion for social justice.

6. Host a monthly brunch


Invite friends and family over for a special meal and take the time to meaningfully engage with one another. This is a fun way to schedule quality time with loved ones — even just two or three people — in a supportive environment where you can laugh, talk, and reminisce.

And if you’re not really into brunch, opt for hosting a casual dinner party instead. Use it as an opportunity to connect and practice your conversational skills.

If you’re more of a one-on-one person and not really into group get-togethers, try phoning a friend and setting up a time for grabbing lunch or even just video chatting.

Better yet, invite them over to your house so you feel more comfortable. Remember: You don’t need to make an elaborate activity for hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.

Think of someone you miss and would like to spend more quality time with, then pick up the phone and make a plan.

There’s nothing like getting to know those around you to make you feel like you’re part of a community. For one, it gives you a sense of belonging. It also gives you an opportunity to turn acquaintances into closer friends.

Start up a spontaneous conversation with your barista the next time you’re ordering your latte, or ask your neighbor how her day is going.

While seemingly casual, one 2014 study found that interacting with a wide network of people on a daily basis contributes to your well-being.

(Video) How to Be More Social as an INTROVERT

The first step in meeting new people is by exposing yourself to an engaging environment. Step outside your comfort zone and look up available classes that you’ve been dying to take.

This allows you to expand and exercise your social skills. So, take that painting or cooking class and spark a conversation while you wait for class to start. You’ll find it’s often easier to talk with others when you share common interests.

Human connection is an important part of your overall well-being, but it isn’t always easy. Keep in mind that developing your social skills is a gradual process that won’t happen overnight. Don’t judge yourself if you aren’t making as much progress as you’d like.

It’s normal to experience some nervousness when you put yourself out there, but if you feel inhibited by your shyness or that it’s preventing you from socializing, it may be time to talk to someone about potential underlying mental health concerns, such as social anxiety, agoraphobia, or generalized anxiety disorder.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you avoid places where there are other people?
  • Are you terrified you’ll feel embarrassed or that others are judging you?
  • Do you feel trapped or helpless?
  • Are you afraid of leaving your home for extended periods of time?
  • Do social situations (or just thinking about them) cause physical reactions, such as nausea, dizziness, sweating, rapid heart rate, trouble breathing, or trembling?

If you experience any of the above symptoms, consider working with a qualified therapist or other mental health professional. They may recommend a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), support groups, and medication if necessary.

Even if you don’t have a mental health condition, a therapist can help you identify what you’re hoping to get out of being more social and offer more tips on how to get there.


Can you be an introvert but social? ›

Being an introvert just means that you prefer socializing differently than extroverts. Typical introverts like to spend social time with small groups rather than large ones, which may feel overwhelming and draining to them. They also tend to want to discuss “real” issues rather than making small talk.

How can I improve my socializing skills? ›

10 ways to improve your social skills
  1. Engage with others. ...
  2. Start in small ways. ...
  3. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  4. Observe your coworkers' social skills. ...
  5. Practice maintaining eye contact. ...
  6. Develop your listening skills. ...
  7. Invite a coworker to lunch or for coffee. ...
  8. Offer genuine compliments freely.
Jan 3, 2020

How to be less socially awkward? ›

How to be (or feel) less awkward: 6 tips
  1. Think of it as a bridge to empathy. Acceptance of your awkwardness can turn what feels uncomfortable into a superpower. ...
  2. Fake it till you make it. ...
  3. Focus on them, not you. ...
  4. Practice social interactions. ...
  5. Learn about social cues. ...
  6. Keep in mind small talk isn't as bad as it seems.

Why do I struggle socially so much? ›

Social awkwardness isn't a mental health issue — there's no diagnostic criteria or even a concrete definition. It's more of a feeling, or a collection of feelings and experiences that form a pattern in your life. These feelings and experiences often result from: failure to notice certain social cues.

What is a social introvert called? ›

Extroverted introverts, also called “outgoing introverts”, “ambiverts,” or “social introverts” have qualities of both personalities. They are not entirely loners but don't necessarily enjoy spending time with large groups of people.

How rare are true introverts? ›

While introverts make up an estimated 25% to 40% of the population, there are still many misconceptions about this personality type. It is also important to note that being an introvert does not mean that you are socially anxious or shy.

How can an introvert be more talkative? ›

How To Be More Talkative As An Introvert
  1. Appear More Friendly.
  2. Come Up With Things To Talk About.
  3. Be Genuinely Interested In Others.
  4. Stop Filtering Yourself.
  5. Avoid Giving Short Responses.
  6. Work On Your Delivery.
  7. Comment On Your Surroundings.
  8. Ask Better Questions.

How can I improve my social skills as an introvert? ›

Introverted? Here's How to Be More Social
  1. Be confident in who you are. ...
  2. Know that it's okay to be quiet. ...
  3. Step outside your comfort zone, then refuel. ...
  4. Plan conversation starters ahead of time. ...
  5. Try to befriend an extrovert at work. ...
  6. Go to work functions and leave early.
Aug 27, 2019

How can an introvert be more fun? ›

14 Introvert-Friendly Activities to Do Alone or With Others
  1. Travel into another world through reading. ...
  2. Go to the library and relish in all the quiet. ...
  3. Try knitting, crocheting, doing embroidery, or other crafts. ...
  4. Learn computer programming and coding. ...
  5. Take long walks or bike rides.
Aug 23, 2021

Why am I socially awkward? ›

In many cases, social awkwardness comes from extreme anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives.

What are the essential 10 social skills? ›

They are:
  • Listen to others.
  • Follow the steps.
  • Follow the rules.
  • Ignore distractions.
  • Ask for help.
  • Take turns when you talk.
  • Get along with others.
  • Stay calm with others.
Sep 27, 2007

Can you fix social awkwardness? ›

You don't have to change your personality, but by learning new skills and adopting a different outlook you can overcome shyness or social awkwardness, feel more connected, and enjoy strong, fulfilling friendships.

Why do I have no social skills? ›

Learning social skills can be difficult if you weren't exposed to traditional group dynamics as a child, if you struggle with a mental illness like anxiety or depression, or even if you just didn't have a lot of positive role models when you were growing up.

Why do I dread being social? ›

Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-term and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's a common problem that usually starts during the teenage years. It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life. For some people it gets better as they get older.

Why am I so awkward around everyone? ›

People with social anxiety disorder feel very nervous and uncomfortable in social situations or in situations where they have to do something in front of other people, like participate in meetings or introduce themselves to new people. They often feel like they will say or do the wrong thing.

What are the 4 types of introverts? ›

One study shows that introverts tend to fall into one of four subtypes:
  • Social introverts. This is the "classic" type of introvert. ...
  • Thinking introverts. People in this group are daydreamers. ...
  • Anxious introverts. ...
  • Restrained/inhibited introverts.
Sep 3, 2022

Are introverts born or made? ›

Introversion isn't totally genetic. It gets influenced by your environment at a young age, and our genes allow a certain amount of flexibility in response. This happens through “set points,” which are the upper and lower limits of how much extroversion your brain can handle.

Can introverts be talkative? ›

Unlike shy people, Introverts are not necessarily bound by fear. If Introverts choose not to speak, it's because they prefer not to rather than because they are afraid. The other side of that coin is that there is nothing basic to their makeup that stops Introverts from talking as much as they like.

What do introverts like to talk about? ›

Passions and Beliefs. Ask questions that are structured and even include examples in the question. Introverts often go blank when asked questions. Offering structure around the question can help them think of something to reply to.

Who is the most introverted personality? ›

And the Winner Is …

One person's social interactions might cause them to lean toward the INFP as the most introverted personality type, while someone else might know an INTP who they swear is the most introverted person they've ever known.

Are most introverts Overthinkers? ›

According to the research, it didn't matter whether the introverts were in a resting state or engaged in a task — they all showed more brain activity than the extroverts. This means introverts may process more information than extroverts per second, which helps explain why introverts may be prone to overthinking.

Why do introverts struggle to speak? ›

A new line of research shows that the stress of speaking can disrupt crucial circuits in the brain, making it physically harder to speak up. And introverts seem to have it worse than extroverts do. Several estimates show that 75 percent of people struggle to speak in front of audiences, at least to some degree.

What makes an introvert happy? ›

Independence. Unique and fiercely independent, introverts are more inclined to let their own inner resources guide them than follow the crowd. We do our best work — and are our happiest — when we have the freedom to explore ideas, spend time alone, and be self-directed and independent.

How can a silent person become talkative? ›

Practice good listening skills as well as talking.
  1. Make eye contact with the person, and use open body language. ...
  2. Really listen and respond to what the other person is saying. ...
  3. Never be more talkative by simply one-upping people in conversation, or responding to what they've said by talking about yourself all the time.

Why is it hard for introverts to socialize? ›

Social interaction can fuel some people, especially extroverts. To introverts, the same level of social interaction can be draining instead. While introverts can appreciate socializing, they invest a lot of energy trying to navigate socially demanding environments, leading to social exhaustion.

How do you warm up socially? ›

So, here are a few tips that can help you warm up your social skills and adjust back to socializing with others.
  1. Make some time for small talk. ...
  2. Work on your listening skills. ...
  3. Don't be afraid to make eye contact. ...
  4. Reflect on the past year and what you'd like to share. ...
  5. Remember we're all in the same boat.

How can introverts make friends? ›

Embrace your interests

Seeking out people with similar interests in hobbies, activities, or schools of thought can be key to creating lasting bonds. Introverted people often feel most drawn to activities usually done alone, including: reading. journaling.

What are introverts good at? ›

Introverts are usually better listeners.

The “quiet ones” really do tend to listen and consider the ideas and feelings of others. In conversation, they may take mental notes and focus intently on what the other person is trying to express — as opposed to simply waiting for their chance to speak.

Why introverts are so attractive? ›

Introverts are loyal and devoted friends.

People are attracted to loyal and devoted people. While introverts may not always realize it, this is a trait most people find attractive in them. Their loyalty isn't just attractive to the recipients of that devotion, but to anyone who observes them.

What do introverts do all day? ›

Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. So, it's not surprising that so many introverted, gifted children love to read. They also tend to prefer activities that allow for creative expression, like creative writing, music, and art.

Why am I so shy and introverted? ›

For one thing, some people are born with “high-reactive” temperaments that predispose them to both shyness and introversion. Also, a shy person may become more introverted over time; since social life is painful, she is motivated to discover the pleasures of solitude and other minimally social environments.

How to stop being quiet? ›

How To Be Less Quiet And Contribute To Group Conversations
  1. Give yourself permission to be quiet. ...
  2. Tell yourself that you have to say something every so often. ...
  3. Making little contributions is better than remaining totally mute. ...
  4. Even if you're not talking, appear to be tuned into the conversation.

What triggers my social anxiety? ›

Negative experiences.

Children who experience teasing, bullying, rejection, ridicule or humiliation may be more prone to social anxiety disorder. In addition, other negative events in life, such as family conflict, trauma or abuse, may be associated with this disorder.

Will I grow out of being socially awkward? ›

So it isn't something you're likely to outgrow or change overnight. But, he says you can simultaneously work on sharpening your social skills. "Many awkward people use the same tools to decode social situations as they do to solve scientific problems," says Tashiro.

What are 7 positive social skills? ›

  • Managing relationships. You spend a lot of time with the people at your workplace. ...
  • Understanding the feelings of others. The ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others is called empathy. ...
  • Cooperating with others. ...
  • Having a Great Attitude. ...
  • Showing respect. ...
  • Appropriate Contact. ...
  • Active Listening.
Apr 20, 2021

What are the 10 ways to improve your social skills? ›

Here are some general guidelines to get you started:
  1. Improve your emotional intelligence. Put yourself in their shoes. ...
  2. Look inwards. ...
  3. Practice effective communication skills. ...
  4. Fake it 'till you make it. ...
  5. Ask more than you speak. ...
  6. Give compliments. ...
  7. Be polite. ...
  8. Use open body language and non-verbal communication.
May 16, 2022

How do I get social interaction with no friends? ›

Where to Meet New People
  1. Attend a club or organization meeting. Sometimes they will have an open house for potential members. ...
  2. Take a class. This is another good way to meet new people. ...
  3. Meet people at work. ...
  4. Join a social media group. ...
  5. Get out more.
Oct 8, 2021

What happens if you can't socialize? ›

Hawkley points to evidence linking perceived social isolation with adverse health consequences including depression, poor sleep quality, impaired executive function, accelerated cognitive decline, poor cardiovascular function and impaired immunity at every stage of life.

Why do I have no interest in socializing? ›

Social anhedonia is often defined as an increased disinterest in all aspects of interpersonal relationships and a lack of pleasure in social situations. Physical anhedonia is an inability to feel tactile pleasures such as eating, touching, or sex. The symptoms of anhedonia can include: social withdrawal.

What does it mean to be very social? ›

If you are social, you like to be around people. A social butterfly is someone who is social or friendly with everyone, flitting from person to person, the way a butterfly might. The word social comes from the Latin socius meaning "friend." When you're being social, you're everyone's friend.

Is it good to be very social? ›

Socializing not only staves off feelings of loneliness, but also it helps sharpen memory and cognitive skills, increases your sense of happiness and well-being, and may even help you live longer. In-person is best, but connecting via technology also works.

How can I be more social and confident? ›

2. Socialize More
  1. Take Big Leaps Out of Your Comfort Zone. Write down a list of all the people and social situations that intimidate you. ...
  2. Reframe Mistakes as Positive Learning Opportunities. ...
  3. Spend Time With Confident Friends. ...
  4. Meditate. ...
  5. Socialize With Everyone. ...
  6. Make Plans and Invite People. ...
  7. Practice Self-Amusement.

Is it OK not being social? ›

You might feel tired, dull or irritated,” she says. She asserts a fine demarcation between being antisocial and being asocial. “Antisocial people are usually against society because they have a very negative perception of it. However, there's nothing wrong with being asocial.

What are the four types of social? ›

Four basic types of groups have traditionally been recognized: primary groups, secondary groups, collective groups, and categories.

What are the five social qualities? ›

As you're making hiring and promotion decisions, look for people with these key interpersonal skills:
  • Communication.
  • Cooperation.
  • Leadership.
  • Relationship-building.
  • Empathy.

Why can't I socialize? ›

When people feel so self-conscious and anxious that it prevents them from speaking up or socializing most of the time, it's probably more than shyness. It may be an anxiety condition called social phobia (also called social anxiety).

Why am I not social anymore? ›

Social fatigue or social burnout happens when you've socialized to the point that you can't do it anymore. Social exhaustion can also be called introvert burnout or introvert hangover. Although it's not a medical diagnosis, it is a valid experience that introverts and extroverts can face.

Why don't I feel like socializing? ›

Anxiety is the number one reason why people hate socializing. It can create an unbearable experience. So the natural thing to do is to avoid situations that make us feel overwhelmed. *But, it's very normal to feel nervous in social situations.

How rare is a high IQ? ›

The first genius IQ score was around 140. That's about one in every 250 people. But one leading researcher in the 1940s suggested that a genius should have an IQ over 180. That's about one in every 2 million people.

What are the 4 elements of social intelligence? ›

He also defined four main components involved in the functioning of emotional and social intelligence, a few years after Mayer and Salovey put forth their research:
  • Self-regulation. ...
  • Self-awareness. ...
  • Relationship skills. ...
  • Social awareness.

What is social IQ called? ›

Social intelligence is the ability to understand your own and others actions. It is also known as "tact" or "common sense", or "street smarts". It is an important interpersonal skill that will help individuals succeed in all aspects of their lives.


1. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT? Signs and Traits of Introversion and How To Be Better Socially
(Practical Psychology)
2. 10 Steps To Being More Sociable
(Science of People)
3. Communicate Confidently as an Introvert - Social Skills Tips for Shy People
(Explearning with Mary Daphne)
4. An introvert's guide to social freedom | Kaspars Breidaks | TEDxRiga
(TEDx Talks)
5. How To Meet New People (Even If You're An Introvert)
(Insider Business)
6. 10 Ways Introverts Can Appear Social And Outgoing
(Essential Living)
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